Fitting the Puzzle Pieces

D: It’s simple really. Before anything else, she has to like you.

M: But what if she doesn’t like me?

D: You become what she will like.

M: How do you know what she will like?

D: Oh it’s all quite scientific. You’d be surprised. There IS a formula to that.

M: Oh, come on. Each person is different. How can you become one thing that everyone will like? You can’t put what a girl likes in a guy into a formula.

D: Then you don’t know girls at all.

M: But I’ve heard them tell me they want a sensitive guy, a caring guy, a stable guy, a…

D: Then how come they always go for the asshole instead of you? Don’t listen to them. They don’t know shit. Who’s the one guy that everyone seems to like?

M: Uh, Brad Pitt?

D: Exactly.

M: What?!? Why?

D: He’s mysterious, he’s challenging, and he’s not available.

M: Not available?

D: Exactly.

M: But you’re not making any sense.

D: Neither do they. All of their desires, decisions, aspirations defy reason. So why rationalize it? Just find the greatest common factor and be that.

M: But they’re not fractions.

D: No. They’re a collective.

M: What, like the Borg?

D: The what? What's the... Dude, you gotta stop watching Star Trek.

M: Forget I said that. I mean, how can you be so chauvinist like that?

D: Because that's what they like.

M: But how can they like something that shows so much disgust for them?

D: Dude, it’s simple. They’re masochistic creatures. Pain makes more sense to them that way. Us guys, we’re pleasure seekers. We avoid pain. It’s a wonderful puzzle. The pieces are opposites that all fits together. Think about it.