In a Corner of His Bedroom

“In high school, we were taught about how genes and how two kinds: dominant and recessive, are responsible for how traits are passed, or perhaps chosen is the more appropriate term. The dominant gene will always overpower the recessive gene, taking precedence even in the presence of the recessive gene, hence the name. The recessive gene only surfaces when in the company of other recessive genes. It is a tacit, brooding gene that can live peacefully among the dominant ones. It will never overpower the dominant gene and can only reign in its absence.

Every nerd, even at the instinctive level knows and fears this fact of life. In fact, anyone who hasn’t resorted to physical displays of dominance for lack thereof knows why — these are the recessives.


Forget all that bullshit about true beauty being on the inside and that the truth will set you free. When’s the last time that has ever worked to your favor. And let’s be honest. Would you really be reading this book if that were so? Would you be flipping through these pages if you weren’t still thinking about that hot blonde cheerleader back in high school?

The fact is, we’re part of that 97% who just don’t got it. Relax. That means we’re normal and the other 3% are the mutants. What should terrify you is the those mutants have the adaptations that will get the by. Remember Darwin? Yes, those classes still come in handy my friend. It’s still very much survival of the fittest.

But let’s get back to reality. We were born this way. It’s like the raffles if you think about it — more chances of winning. Some just have more chances than others. It’s increasing those chances that we’re here for.

So what exactly are those mutations I was talking about?

Well, they’re not as tangible as the flightless Dodo bird, but they do aid in survival and the capacity to reproduce. A fulfilled life, after all, by nature’s definition, is passing on one’s genes to the next generation (one capable of reproducing, remember?) and beginning yet another cycle.

Not tangible, you say? Yes. To us, at least. Women seem to pick it up like a scent trail.

Ever wonder why a certain guy in your class seemed to attract all the ladies? Well, he had those mutations. He could broadcast his presence like a horny ferret in a windy forest. But don’t worry. This is a modern age. We’re capable of genetic modifications. And we can definitely grow these ‘mutations’ on you. But you have to trust me when I say “You don’t got it.”

Never mind about this girl in third grade or that chick in senior prom. If you’re reading this book now, it’s a clear sign you don’t got it.”

He had to stop and put the book down. It was too much, too fast, too painful. Already he could feel the tears of a long repressed memory fighting to reach the edge of his eyes.

He beeped on his computer, ran the word processor and began to type it all down.

“It’s a terrible feeling when you find out you’re doomed to fail.

We read about Oedipus Rex once. You know, the heroic motherfucker. Yes, that’s all he is. His father, when empowered with the knowledge that his son will kill, had made tremendous efforts to overcome his fate. Yet, fate, as the tired cliché goes, is sealed. Not only had the old king’s efforts only hastened his demise, but inevitably played into the hands of destiny. What does this teach us children? That you can’t beat fate. Murphy’s law had never been more appropriate.

So why continue?

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t, I suppose.

Better to die fighting than to sit idly by.

Maybe I still won’t get it after this… then again, nothing else has worked. You can’t lose what you don’t have to begin with, and being this deep in the pit, perhaps the closest exit is beneath.”