I have to apologize. Much of the fuel that started this was angst, anxiety and a great deal of self-loathing.
In the long absence since the last post I've been enlightened by several good friends and the internet as to the real source of this conundrum. You'll find it in the mirror.
Thanks so much for putting up with all this.
For those still seeking answers, you'll find it all here, much better said than I ever could have.
The best advice is still that which is free.
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